what was wrong with my trying to fix grammer

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First I know it's grammar, but thought it would get a laugh.

In the image below I was only trying to fix the sentence structure and wasn't trying to take ownership of the plot only to be rebuked. Can someone tell me why this doesn't meet contribution guidelines?
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0912284/


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MikeTheWhistle

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Posted 1 month ago

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Ed Jones (XLIX)

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Semi colon! I dunno.....but it shouldn't it really be after "evacuate the crew"!
But I could be wrong. As usual! LOL

Rules for Using Semicolons
A semicolon is most commonly used to link (in a single sentence) two independent clauses that are closely related in thought.When a semicolon is used to join two or more ideas (parts) in a sentence, those ideas are then given equal position or rank.

The "evacuate the crew" is where thought one ends, and thought two begins.




(Edited)
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Michelle, Official Rep

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Hi MikeTheWhistle -

I have now approved your Plot Summary correction and the change should be live on the site shortly.  Cheers!
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Peter, Champion

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I think Mike's semicolon should be a comma.
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MikeTheWhistle

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LOL. Forgive me cuz english is my first language and it sux. Even more than the semicolon I was really trying to fix one long sentence with the least # of changes possible, but I think you probably are correct. The fact is that sentence just needs to be re-written, but if I couldn't get a small change I'd never get a big change.
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Ed Jones (XLIX)

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It really would have been better as two sentences.
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Jeorj Euler

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A semicolon should only be used when a comma is not good enough, such as when there are already several commas serving different purposes.
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Jeorj Euler

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It should be...
General Landry accompanies SG-1 on a mission to collect the knowledge of the Asgard. When the Ori show up, however, Sam is forced to evacuate the crew, while Landry and the SG-1 stay aboard, stuck helpless in a field for decades.
The only run-on aspect of the second sentence is the "stuck helpless in a field for decades" part, so it or the part encompassing it absolutely needs punctuation preceding it, in order to prevent confusion. Notice three commas introduced from the original?

An alternative could be...
General Landry accompanies SG-1 on a mission to collect the knowledge of the Asgard. When the Ori show up, however; Sam is forced to evacuate the crew, while Landry and the SG-1 stay aboard, stuck helpless in a field for decades.
Where the comma after "however" is replaced with a semicolon, to make it clear (possibly unnecessarily) that the opening of the sentence applies to all parts following it:
  • When the Ori show up, however...
    • Sam is forced to evacuate the crew...
    • while Landry and the SG-1 stay aboard, stuck helpless in a field for decades.
Landry and the SG-1 wind up stuck helpless in a field for decades as a result of staying aboard, in other words. Whereas Sam and the crew have evacuated. Both events occur not before the Ori showing up. The idea is to make sure that the meaning is clear.

Furthermore, to make it perfectly clear, we could go with...
General Landry accompanies SG-1 on a mission to collect the knowledge of the Asgard. When the Ori show up, however, two courses happen: (1) Sam is forced to evacuate the crew; (2) Landry and the SG-1 stay aboard, stuck helpless in a field for decades.
But that looks unstylistic. Haha.